So how is motherhood going so far? What’s it like?
Granted I am still very new to the motherhood gig and lucky for my girlfriends I am the first to blaze the trail. In the rare moments that Saint is not crying, I’m not pumping, or cleaning and making dinner…I share with my girls the real of what motherhood is (at least for me) and not that “O I’m so happy to be a mom and it’s the best job you can ever have” sh$t… I mean don’t get me wrong, motherhood is really cool and I love Saint more than anything, there is no other love that can compare and he is truly a gift from above..but for real for real…
Motherhood is not a solo sport, and it takes a team- Now, I am not here to judge anyones situation, only here to tell you about my own. And honestly, there is no way in hell I could do motherhood alone. Whether it’s a husband, grandmother, a sister/brother, an aunt a best friend whoever, I believe someone should be by your side in this journey because motherhood is not easy. I have been fortunate enough to have not only my husband, but also my mother and sister as my support system which I couldn’t be more thankful for. Prior to delivering Saint, I didn’t know what to expect nor did I think it would be pysically and emotionally exhausting. I figured Hubby came to every doctors appointment and has been by my side through the entire process, so we can handle this. We got this! No additional help needed…. WRONG! We had no clue about the amount of time our new addition would consume from feedings, to diaper changes, and just overall getting to know our little man. Luckily my mom (Nana) insisted to stay with us for 2 weeks. Nana did everything from cooking hubby and I meals to cleaning our home and taking care of our dogs to make sure we only focus on bonding with Saint. When Nana left to go back home (which is about an hour away) I cried like I she was never coming back. I was a mess for a few days! Luckily my sister (Aunt Bae) lives 10 mintues away. Aunt Bae has been amazing, she has completely spoiled Saint with endless gifts and love. If anyone offers to help you, take it! Trust me, you will need it.
You thought college all-nighters were hard… You haven’t seen nothing yet – I recall pulling all night study sessions in college during finals week or even waiting until the last minute to write that research paper that I knew about since the beginning of the semester… well, this is not like that. You’re tired, no like seriously tired. I don’t know if it’s because I am older now and I need rest, or if it’s the hormones adjusting but, whatever it is I was a walking zombie for weeks. This is when I realized that sleep deprivation is real! There were times when hubby had to wake me because I would fall asleep with Saint in my arms (sounds cute right but, this is a big no-no). People would tell me “you need to sleep when the baby sleeps”… HA, okay! What about pumping for Saint meals (in the beginning you need to pump at least 8-10 times a day for a good milk supply)? What about making sure your eating and drinking enough water to maintain that milk supply? What about doing laundry? What about cleaning the house just enough to make sure it’s not a complete wreck? What about just taking a d$%n shower?! Good luck with that!
It’s no longer about you – My first indication of this was Saint’s first feeding. I was completely set on breastfeeding, no if ands or formulas about it. After hours of skin to skin interaction with Saint and attempting to get Saint to latch on my breast, we discovered that he had tongue tie and it was preventing him from latching. Tongue tie is a condition of a short, tight band of tissue that tethers the tongue’s tip to the floor of the mouth. It could have the ability to affect how he would eat, how he speaks, and of course, breastfed. After learning about Saint’s tongue tie we immediately went to the next option until we got it corrected, Plan B – Good Ol’ Hand Express! O the pain of the hand express! I literally sat in the hospital bed as the lactation nurse squeezed the hell out of my boobs to get little drops of colostrum. After all that pain I was still only able to produce 4 milliliters of colostrum to give to Saint through a syringe. Talk about sadness and disappointment. By day 2 of our hospital stay the nurse advised me and hubby that Saint hadn’t pee’d or poo’ed and was beginning to look jaundice because of it. The nurse then explained to us that if Saint is jaundice then they would need to keep him at the hospital and would discharge me, but we were more than welcome to come visit him at the hospital until he was discharged. After a few minutes of dramatic tears and anxiety, I quickly told the nurse “let’s get this baby some food !” At that moment it was no longer about me and what I wanted it was about doing what needed to be done to make sure Saint was okay… my baby had to eat…Plan C – formula it was.
You will have a new found appreciation for your mother – During this journey I’ve had some moments to reflect on my childhood and realized… I was a little b$tch to my mom! Granted most teenage girls are but, if I could go back and change my attitude in a few situations I would. Think about it, your mom giving you life alone is enough to be thankful for, right? This doesn’t include all the sleepless nights of you being sick and your mom taking care of you. Or what about that time your mom went without something she really wanted to make sure you had what you needed? But, since I can’t go back in time all I can do is apologize to my mom for being a stupid kid and pray that Saint has mercy on me. Don’t get me wrong dads are great too… but, there is no love like a mama’s. 2 Pac said it best “Through the drama, I can always depend on my mama”.